Warriors parodies/poems
Page rules # I, Frost, can remove/change any parodies/poems, if I see a reason to # If you add one, I will add your content category to the page, so you can have quicker access. # This is a joke page, so don't take anything seriously # Enjoy the page and the wiki Creator’s note. Thanks for the support this page has, with over 20 poems, all of which are great, its nice to see community pages like this thriving on the wiki <3 Too Many Cats Kill them all The Clans will fall And the survivors will rule them all Ivystar, the best by far, Leafpool, the herbs she'll rule, And Briarlight and her eternal fight. -Starflight897 Mistystar the Immortal? One has to wonder How Mistystar has survived so long. Sure, she has nine lives But leaders don’t last forever. Has Willowshine discovered a new herb Or is the reason more sinister? -Crystalcat137 Sol is Evil They speak of stars They speak of cats living far They speak of spirits lighting their paths or guiding their paws But I am here, my own paws battered raw I am here to prove all of you wrong I am here to show you your beliefs are as fragile as birdsong I will make the sun disappear And you will play by ear You will be forced to listen to me And let your dead cats be Give up your beliefs And let the stars freeze -Mooneffects Power of Three Holly, Lion, and Jay, Power of Three will save the day But wait! It isn’t Holly with the power Dove must step up, within the hour Lion so bold with a heart of gold Jay reading minds, secrets he’ll find Dove can hear, things not just here Holly long gone, this is her swan song Dove, Lion, and Jay Three cats coming to save the day Power of Three will make them see The Clans are the best place to be -Starflight897 Another Prophecy Another prophecy for fire Given by those up higher Yet another one for him What about the rest of them? Hollyleaf and Cinderheart Ivypool, so brave and smart Brackenfur and Ferncloud Could make their Clan so very proud But why stop at Thunder? It was the Star’s blunder to stick with Thunder Why not try Wind or River instead? If the Stars tried that maybe less cats would be dead Forget the flames of prophecy Give a different cat an odyssey! -Starflight897 Crystalcat137's poem ShadowClan’s warriors are dying of a mystery illness? Call ThunderClan! WindClan’s being taken over by a tyrranical ruler? Call ThunderClan! RiverClan‘s leader has allied with a tyrranical ruler? Call ThunderClan! StarClan being invaded by Dark Forest cats? CALL THUNDERCLAN! Rabbits stop running across the moor Another battle engages all four A prophecy destined for three And every single cat agrees On ThunderClan! This clan can save the others This clan has all the mothers (oof) Of prophecy born kits And whatever else fits (double oof) And my rhyming skills are rapidly deteriorating.. Cinderpelt's Last Moments I know that I am about to die As I see my apprentice leave her Clan Without even saying goodbye StarClan warned me, that badgers from distant lands Will kill me as Leafpool is away When I heard this I had swayed I have come to terms with this news But Leafpool must not know the truth Because she will be destroyed forever, A heart broken beyond measure. -Mooneffects Tigerstar's Clones A brown striped tom with a mission to combine the clans all, Has many clones after his embarrassing fall. Tigerheartstar, the cat that looks like his grandfather Bramblestar, the leader who is an extreme bother. Hawkfrost, a villain who left Firestar with neck scars, Mothwing, a cat who does not believe in the clan of stars. Tadpole, a useless add-on kit, and Tawnypelt, the cat in ShadowClan, which seems fit. Every Evil Cat Has Two Siblings It's totally very true-- See Tigerstar, one of the first villains in the series Has two sisters, Mistkit and Nightkit, who knew? But their days of life look bleary And then there's Brokenstar, The evil leader, he had two sisters -- Wishkit and Hopekit watching him from afar As Yellowfang's deathberries make his throat blister What about Hawkfrost? Mothwing and Tadpole! Yes, his med cat sister and his dead littermate Who didn't go to StarClan after he drowned in a hole Well neither did Hawkfrost after attempted murder with a stake Oh, and Thistleclaw, from Bluestar's Prophecy Had Sweetpaw and Rosetail-- Both dead, as is he But they went to StarClan, he went to hell.As in underworld. (It rhymes.) Well that's about it for this weird poem With bad rhyming in it So you see it's true, the evil cats who um Had two siblings mostly sisters who are ALMOST ALL DEAD that didn't rhyme Oh well ~Qibli77 Power of Three II Hollyleaf should have had a power! But she had to run away, in Series Three's final hour So Dovewing ended up with her legacy In the Kin of your Kin prophecy It's so unfair how she got cheated! She was a trio with Jay and Lion, but StarClan bleated, "No way, It's Dovewing not Hollyleaf" But I'm like GO JUMP IN A REEF! She could've had night vision or a way To make cats speak truth, now that would make her day! (Like Wonder Woman with her truth lasso But of course it's a cat instead of an Amazon) Oh Hollyleaf should have had a power! But she had to die in the Dark Forest's final hour! Killed by Hawkfrost, now that's her legacy Instead of a place in the Kin of your Kin prophecy. ~Qibli77 How Many Deputies? WARNING: LOST STARS SPOILERS Why does every deputy seem to die? In every single story a cat goes bye bye Whether it be a leader or second-in-command CAN'T SOME CAT GIVE THEIR CLANMATE A HAND? (oops i mean paw) But everything happens to the deputies Whether it be murder or banishing or something else PLEASE Someone just help them right right now Don't let them fall out of life— oh wow. So let's see, of the Clan of thunder! The first deputy was Redtail who did not slumber Through a RiverClan attack at Sunningrocks But Tigerclaw killed him not a RiverClan fox* After Redtail, what's Bluestar's plan...? Next there was Lionheart, who of course can Be killed by a warrior of ShadowClan! (Well he died of his injuries but I'm sorry for the man) (I mean cat) And then finally Tigerclaw, he'd achieved his dream Being deputy — one step closer to leading the whole team! But of course he got himself banished after a big reveal When he attacked Bluestar and made her lose her feel (After Tigerclaw there was Fireheart But we're not counting him so sorry) Then Fireheart's first deputy, Whtiestorm** Was killed by Bone and throughly mourned But only after he was avenged by a couple of 'paws They tore the BloodClan deputy apart with their claws! Graystripe was carried off by Twolegs Brambleclaw was made deputy in his stead And any number of things happened to him Wasn't Tigerstar his late, late kin? And then Squirrelflight, Bramble's mate and deputy She even went to StarClan for a bit, see? *shows you Lost Stars''*'' Alongside her sister Leafpool who sadly died I wonder if Jayfeather actually cried...? *I'm not trying to insult RiverClan cats it just rhymes **That is NOT a typo (it makes it have an extra syllable to work with the rhythm) Firestar’s in Way Too Many Prophecies (Brought to you by Crystalcat137, your local obsessive stalker!) How many prophecies is Firestar in? Well, here’s one he’s related to, Kin of your Kin. Then there’s the fire that burns out, leaving a spark, And don’t forget the fire blazing through the forest, that sure left it’s mark. The first, fire alone can save our Clan, Beware a warrior you can’t trust, which covered a great span. StarClan is calling, don’t be afraid. Beware one that doesn’t sleep, his claws are like a blade. Three is not enough, it must become four. And I’m sure Firestar will be in many more. Nothing Happened (By Crystalcat137, obsessive stalker) First we have Molepaw, who vanished from sight Who greencough killed, in all its might No cat uttered a single breath No cat noticed Molepaw’s death Next we have Rainwhisker, remembered by none Who was killed by a branch, just a single one No cat uttered a single breath No cat noticed Rainwhisker’s death Now we have Willowpelt, who was never very sour She died from a badger within the hour No cat uttered a single breath No cat noticed Willowpelt’s death Remember Mistkit? Well, me neither She died from sickness, a real deceiver No cat uttered a single breath No cat noticed Mistkit’s death All these cats were utterly ignored On these cats’ deaths the Erins snored We beg you, Erins, give more attention And your worst books, they may have redemption* *Just trying to rhyme, guys Everyone Loves These Cats Many hated and loved cats Some sweet kitties, and some annoying brats. Hollyleaf, who was replaced with the Dove's Wing Mapleshade, who is the Dark Forest king. Spottedleaf, a faded StarClan cat Jayfeather, who has a bad temper, he just does that. Twigbranch, who has a bad name Needletail, the cat who earned lots of fame. Firestar, the friendly one And this poem is... done? ThunderClan’s Medicine Cats Note: this is based off of the meme on a different page (Warriors memes page) Most Clans have one But that is no fun ThunderClan needs more To get the work done There’s Leafpool, using herbs as tools Brightheart, so kind and smart Jayfeather, knows from poppies to heather Briarlight, knowing just what’s right Alderpaw, stuffing herbs in jaws Cinderheart, Cinderpelt’s restart And Twigkit, the little misfit Dozens of cats who help with herbs Dozens of cats to heal the hurt While other Clans struggle to keep just one ThunderClan has a whole ton -Starflight897 Fanon Warrior Cat Parody Hareclaw ran away from her clan for being half-clan, MoonClan cats hated the half-clan rogue, So she joined BloodClan, BloodClan was better than living with MoonClan, And a prophecy from StarClan said: A hare's ear will bring the clan to ruins, But Stonestar is leader after Blizzardstar's death, So now who will win? MoonClan of course! ~ -Toxiic-Waste- ThunderClan You got an overflowing pond? CALL THUNDERCLAN! Has an evil badger spawned? CALL THUNDERCLAN! Is a dangerous storm near? CALL THUNDERCLAN! Did your prey disappear? CALL THUNDERCLAN! Need medicine cats? CALL THUNDERCLAN! Invasion of rats? CALL THUNDERCLAN! Evil leader causing trouble? CALL THUNDERCLAN! Den entrances covered in rubble? CALL THUNDERCLAN! These Cats Shouldn't Exist They are loners, rogues, StarClan kits, Elders, -paws, odd misfits, Either way, they shouldn’t exist. (Some are only on a list.) Adderkit, who a snake bit Lilyflower, who isn’t sour Tadpole, a kindhearted soul Flowerpaw, who Mapleshade saw Spiderpelt, '''who went unfelt '''Quietkit, '''they’re an odd misfit '''Cherrypaw, who has no flaw Flystar, watching from afar StarClan, Why? LOST STARS SPOILERS LOST STARS SPOILERS LOST STARS SPOILERS LOST STARS SPOILERS LOST STARS SPOILERS LOST STARS SPOILERS LOST STARS SPOILERS LOST STARS SPOILERS LOST STARS SPOILERS LOST STARS SPOILERS!!! Hmm, I see You have angered others and me Leafpool and Squirrelflight die of a rock They are in StarClan, everyone is in shock! But Squirrelflight returns to the Mary Sue Time for the tea to brew! //sips it for a long time// He loved her as a wife So she came back to life But poor Leafpool just sits And who is sad? HER KITS! She loved her kits dearly So clearly... Leafpool needs to come back to life too And not Squirrelflight, the whiny, attention-seeking Mary Sue! Hollyleaf’s Power I know Holly wasn’t one of the Three But do you remember this? Whenever she wanted to hide No other cats could see Her pelt supposedly saved her Shadows hid her black fur But I have a better way But what really helped her stay: Holly can turn invisible Or at least fade No longer visible Her powers were a great aid -Starflight897 Bramblestar's Change SPOILERS FOR LOST STARS AHEAD!!! ''YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. '' Poem info: Bramblestar's spirit is crying to Shadowpaw who can hear him to bring him back. This is actually more like a play lol BRAMBLESTAR: Help me, This dark hole opening up, I can't let this be I want to shout, to scream But my cries are silent, or so it seems Bramblestar spots Shadowpaw. BRAMBLESTAR: Help me, I beseech thee, my only savior Convince the others with your behavior For only they can revert things back to what they used to be SHADOWPAW: But how? No one believes me now I am merely a liar in their eyes They think I'm telling lies BRAMBLESTAR: Follow your heart To play your part Bring me back Or my beloved's mind will crack SHADOWPAW: I don't know I think I see how but the process is slow Do you really want me to do this Sometimes ignorance is bliss BRAMBLESTAR: Do it, there is no time left Just do your best I have faith in you, Shadowpaw Now you must have faith in yourself. ~Mooneffects Hollyleaf's Disappearance Poem-play info: Lionblaze and Jayfeather chase Hollyleaf as she tries to escape through the tunnels, resulting in her supposed death. LIONBLAZE: Stop, Hollyleaf! You can't leave Not like this To lose you would be like living in an abyss HOLLYLEAF: Go away, my brother I can't hurt you further Let me go I don't want to cause anymore sorrow JAYFEATHER: What you did was right But not this, disappearing in the middle of our plight I hate to be blunt to you but I must say We won't let things go your way LIONBLAZE: Jayfeather is right, this is wrong Escaping the problem won't do you right, not for long Hollyleaf blinks back tears and tries to slip into the tunnels. She succeeds before Lionblaze and Jayfeather grab her, and her last words were heard... HOLLYLEAF: Just stop trying I can't get over Ashfur dying I can't cope, not with this knowledge Let go of me, this was a pointless voyage. The rocks shift and Lionblaze and Jayfeather let out agonized wails as Hollyleaf disappears in a shower of dust. ~Mooneffects Scourge's Last Moments What is this? My enemy is coming back to life As he gets up I let out a hiss But even my battle skills fail as my enemy and I fight He slashes my throat, and I feel fear Will this be the end? I can feel it as blood drains out of me, I can feel that it's certainly near I'm sorry, BloodClan, my friends But I can't lead you no longer I have no more strength in me No more war to monger ~Mooneffects Ashes You have betrayed me, Squirrel Now the burning flames will swirl Ash will fall from the skies I can see the fear in your eyes Your kits are trapped, there is nothing you can do The flames flashed in my eyes, a stunning ocean blue "They're not my kits, leave them alone! Don't you dare burn them to bone!" Ah, I see, you don't trust me with ease I will leave you and your kits to burn in the ashy breeze I have found out your secret You can no longer keep it Now it is my plan To tell the leader that those three are half clan I will escape to the river and watch the ashes burn But green eyes shine behind a fern But this cat plans to kill The ashes blood will spill As green eyes glow, she takes the killing blow She will watch the blood endlessly flow "Your blood will bleed You are blinded by your greed The river turned red Ashfur is dead." StarClan's ground he will touch Since he only loved too much -SkyFireStone StarClan's Discussion Starry cats gather under the sky But they are not here to bide their time Four of Thunder One of River They feel it is their Clan's need To answer an ancient creed One with blue fur Felt nothing should occur "We should never take action It'll cause a bad reaction!" But one with yellow teeth Thought that they should not leave it to lie beneath So it continued, the five cats about the three A blue furred cat's silent plea A snub nosed cat's outraged cry And an intrusion, an ally Finally, one decided to take action It was time for her to help her faction It was time for her to send an omen of the stars To the cat who can cast her senses far. ~Mooneffects Bluestar should get paid more Like really Don'tcha think she should've gotten a better reward To give up her kits to RiverClan, wasn't that so hard? And to have Mosskit die, that was depressing But then her grief Goosefeather was repressing Because she needed to 'save her Clan!' What's the big deal? She could've asked someone else to help make Thistleclaw kneel! Like really Don'tcha think she went through so much hardship? Plus having her mind go when Tigerclaw gave her the slip Having her Clan weaken to the point of starvation That's not a good thing for a new-leadered nation Even in the world of warrior cats Someone should do something to pay Bluestar back. ~Qibli77 Why The First Arc Is The Best As the Warriors books went on The well-written words were lost, dead, and gone. Arc two was nice, I liked it a lot The characters, scenery, even the plot Arcs three and four were where the writing fell I bet just from skimming the blurbs you really could tell- These two sets of books didn't meet expectations They would not be on my list of recommendations. At A Vision of Shadows it got even worse! I guess the story started out okay at first But too much repetition, not enough new Those books weren't the best I can tell you that's true Dawn of the Clans was interesting It explained a lot of Clan life-y things But still you've gotta accept that the first was the best- The original cats' standards are far over the rest. Category:Collaborations Category:Content (FrostwingOC) Category:Work In Progress Category:Miscellaneous Category:Public Category:Content (Frostwing2615) Category:Content (Starflight897) Category:Content (Crystalcat137) Category:Content (SkyFireStone) Category:Content (Mooneffects) Category:Content (Qibli77) Category:Joke Pages Category:Song Articles